| Guide to writing a screenplay: |
 |
 |
| Written by Writing Staff |
| Tuesday, 27 January 2009 22:00 |
|
Lets face it. Everyone who lives in L.A. is doing it. Every waiter and coffee shop employee is merely working in the service industry while waiting for that big producer, movie star, or industry insider to walk in and whisk them away with a big check in hand and a private jet. Sitting in a fast food breakfast restaurant for hours on end, with pen in hand, kind of like Quentin Tarantino before he got his break, only not quite as creepy. This is a guide to being as screen writer-esque as possible to ensure you will be noticed when your time comes. At one point in time I fancied myself a screenwriter. I read all the books and instruction manuals {Think “Writing Screenplays for Dummies”}. They didn’t seem to help. Sure, they gave great information on proper format and structure, but no firm ideas on how to actually get the manuscript read. So without further ado here is my take on the situation. Necessary Materials: the largest and most expensive laptop you can find; stacks of books on topics ranging from criminology to understanding children’s literature; a highly caffeinated beverage of some type; and a public place where the rich, powerful, or famous may stumble into. Time: 2-12 years Experience level on a scale of 1-10 : 5.6 Dress the part: Finding the proper attire is one of the most important steps. Not only does it say, “Hey, I’m dirty so you know I’m super awesome,” but it lets people know that you have more important things to do than primp when you wake from an alcoholic slumber. Typical dress may include but is not limited to: old corduroys and stained and hole-ridden Abercrombie polos. Duct-taped chuck tailors are a good start. Location, Location, Location: No one ever got “discovered” working out of a coffee shop in bum-creek Nebraska. A suitable location should put you in front of as much traffic as possible. Your behavior should be as outlandish as your dress. Scream at your characters, knock books on the floor, throw the cold remnants of your half-caff-skinny-2-pump-vanilla-white-mocha on the ground in frustration from time to time. The Idea: The more bizarre the idea the better. If in doubt, the addition of a mutant that thrives on anarchy or a bat-shit-crazy middle school teacher hell-bent on domination of the bridge world may help. Sometimes the more cliché the plot is, the better the chance you have of someone thinking it’s different enough to actually produce. How many movies have ever been made featuring a starving artist or musician who didn’t die of an over-dose or because of some crazy love-torn triangle? Networking: Talk to anyone about your idea who will listen—every barista, mail carrier, dog walker, and anyone wearing “business casual” attire. Give out business cards and your email address to all of these people, even if they don’t want them. |